This is personal but it’s what it feels like to be chronically ill, getting a first diagnosis. “I remember when your head caught flame,” chronic pain, “they kissed your scalp and caressed your brain,” being soothed but not being able to get treatment.

“You laughed baby, ‘it’s okay, it’s buzz it season anyway,” making the people around you feel better because they can’t do anything/you don’t want them to feel bad.

Cutting your hair to free yourself because you’re too sick to take care of it, daydreaming to escape reality, hearing about world news but not being physically able to do anything so you can only ignore it.

“And I’ll never go home again,” I’ll never go back to my body, my home.