I feel like this song is about being depressed and suicidal and also trying super hard or being put through a lot of high pressure and trying your hardest to achieve these high standards and you achieve them in the end, but you don’t have the same mindset anymore after all that pressure and get even more suicidal or become a perfectionist.
(I’m not really sure if
this is true at all this is just what I think it’s about from the lyrics :) )